Two homes

Came home from work at lunchtime and called Percy for his breakfast (he goes straight out first thing and isn't interested in eating). He didn't come so I turned to go inside and on my way in I noticed he was sitting in next door's bedroom window! Just sitting there having a lovely time looking out of the window. I couldn't believe my eyes, I thought he wasn't visiting there much anymore. Anyway after a few minutes of fuming I decided to go and speak to my neighbour. I asked her to please put Percy out as he hadn't eaten yet. She said Percy was always there and had practically moved in, but she wasn't apologetic or remotely bothered about it which quite upset me. I would have thought she would know I wasn't happy about it after the last debarcle. Percy then appeared in her doorway and sat next to her like he was her cat! Then he wondered out and up her path which REALLY annoyed me as I have never let him out of the front door because of the main road. I scooped him up and carried him in to my house.

Now I don't know what to do. I know this is what cats are like and you can't stop them but I'm not happy about him having two homes

Oh no Laura. You must be gutted, and so pissed off with that neighbour. I would be really upset if that was Prince, I cant deny that, and would be furious at the neighbours attitude.
I am going to be of no help whatsoever, as I truly dont know what I would do in this instance. I would WANT to keep him in to stop him from going there, but then I would feel guilty doing that after him having his freedom. I guess that is exactly how you are feeling right now, torn between the two options. (((( hugs ))))
Clearly you "suggesting" that the neighbour discourages him has fallen on deaf ears! I cannot understand why somebody would be so blatantly akward. Its one thing having "visitors" like Ian, and many others have, but another being so blaze and smug about it to you!

Hi Laura,

This is a tad hypocritical coming from me (of all people) but I'd be just as annoyed yourself if Bola or Fudge started doing the same thing. I take it your neighbour doesn't have a cat flap, if not then she is purposefully letting Percy in, if not actually encouraging him in.

Beyond telling your neighbour to stop letting him in, the only thing I can suggests is the bog standard *keeping him in for a while, with extra treats if need be* to try and reinforce that his real home is with you and not her. That said, we all know what cats are like, give them the chance and they will wander, even into other peoples homes if they are made to feel welcome, and by the sounds of things that's the case here. The bottom line is it's down to your neighbour to do as you ask and not let him in.

I don't know how you'd stand legally, but it might be worth asking, or even threatening legal action if she doesn't stop. Even if that threat was a empty one, it might be enough to make her think twice.

Ian

Thanks guys.

It's such a difficult situation because I feel like I'm constantly disrupting her with something. First it was her daughter playing loud music really late, then it was her barking dog (remember how I was driven mad by that last year?) and now this.

Another thing is that because I've encloed the garden so well Percy can't climb over the wall so we opened the gate that divides mine and my neighbours garden (I did ask if that was okay and she was fine about it). So really by having that gate ajar for him to wander about I should be grateful to her for being so accomodating. We have an office on the other side with a large wall so Percy can't get out that way.

Maybe I should be a chicken and drop a note through her door asking her to not let Percy in? Or I'm thinking three strikes and she's out type thing. If I catch him there again I'll definitely ask her not to let him in. As you say, Ian, she's the one letting him in, she's in control of the situation. If Percy does make a fuss at the door she should ignore it until he goes away. I know this is daft coming from a cat lover as I would like cat visitors (if I didn't have a cat) but at the same time I wouldn't let the cat in if I knew the owners were unhappy about it.

Ian - if I did keep him in, how long do you think is an appropriate time frame? If I close the cat flap he makes such a bloody fuss that keeping him in would be a challenge, but I'm willing to try it.

Why not just close the dividing gate and keep him in your garden for a while? That with extra fuss and treats could help?

Oh I would be so goddamned annoyed if someone let Mads in! But as she can be very agressive with people she doesn't know, somehow I can't see that cropping up! lol! I feel your anger Laura, its almost a helpless situation! Gahhhhhh!

Laura wrote:Ian - if I did keep him in, how long do you think is an appropriate time frame? If I close the cat flap he makes such a bloody fuss that keeping him in would be a challenge, but I'm willing to try it.

Hi Laura,

I haven't a clue tbh, but I'd hazard a guess at a couple of weeks, but if you do there's always the chance you'll upset him so much he'll want to go next door all the more and that's the last thing you'd want.

Could it be that he just likes company while you're out at work? If he's still eating the food you give him, I'd suspect that's the case. I know Dexter seldom eats here when he calls, but like Percy, is sometimes seen by my neighbours just sitting on a upstairs windowsill here.

One sure way of finding out if your neighbour is calling him in is to shut the gate, if you ever see him next door then you'll know she's deliberately opening it to call him in. I'm not sure how that'd help beyond giving you a very good reason for a full blown argument with her, but you'd be in the right. Percy wouldn't be happy at being restricted, but at least he'd be able to go outside and would probably settle in time.

Ian

I would be inclined too keep Percy in, yes he's going to be a pain, forever miaowing to get out but you will have to gear yourself up to ignore that, if you keep hi9m in and reinforce to him where his home comforts are and close the gate and allow him out into the garden. As has been said, if he appears in your neighbours house after that , you know she has opened it. But you are going to have to tell her not to let him in, and be really firm about it.
He could be lonely and wanting company during the day, remember how Teddy was because he was on his own all day, so have you considered another cat, a good old moggie is all you'll/percy will need, doesn't have to be another BSH, but it may just settle him down.
This reminds me of Kerri ( I think) over at CW, remember her neighbour was more or less keeping her cat and she was so upset about it, she had to have a confrontation with the neighbour too. God if these people want a cat so deperately you would think they could go get their own.
Good luck with this Laura, it's not going to sort itself out overnight, but you are going to have to determined.

Try keeping him in for a while and give him his favourite treats. Can't really add to what's already been said, but I can understand what you are going through.
Buddy was disappearing for a while and I know he was going into the house across from us, she has two cats of her own, and he used to come home and refuse his food, so I kept him in for a few days and spoilt him with his favourite foods and spent time with him and he now knows where his comfort zone is, but I know he still goes over there but she works all day now so he doesn't get anything. I think he must go somewhere at night as sometimes he doesn't come home at all, and when I first got Mary she got confused about where she lived, as Buddy's scent was in said neighbours garden, and neighbour kept Mary there all day causing me to panic.

OOoo yes another kitty.. you can have Bramble! LOL!

As has been mentioned, the company during the day thing could have a big part to play. He was fine when you were off work with him? Now that you're back at work (boooo evil work!), he could be feeling lonely and rather then settling and getting used to this its easier to keep up that company by going next door... so maybe getting a kitten when either you or your partner are off work for a bit to help them settle in could be good, as Percy shouldn't feel as threatened by a kitten as he would by a cat, plus the kitten will naturally go for his company too (and you could train the kitten to be a cuddle cat ;-) )

Just one thing tho... Is Percy microchipped? If so good, as your neighbour then cannot suddenly decide to claim Percy is hers so legally the chip would certainly help and to change the details on the chip, they would have to get on touch with you! So if he's not chipped, it may be a good idea to get this done.

Nowhere near the same thing, but Bola and Fudge came strolling thro a gap in the fence within seconds of each other yesterday afternoon, both smacking their lips as cats do after eating. I find it impossible to believe they'd found something tasty and shared it, but it's either that or somebody nearby had fed them, which tbh, is almost equally hard to believe, especially with Fudge as she rarely leaves my garden let alone goes looking for food. I'll be keeping as close an eye on their travels as I can for a few days tho'.

Ian

I'm pretty sure she's not feeding him because he comes home to beg and he's not really bothered by food.

What I assume has happened is he's wondered in to her house one weekend as her ex-husband is often there during the weekends and maintains the garden so the back door is left open. I've once heard Percy meowing at their back door so he probably does that everytime until she lets him in. I doubt she is activitely encouraging him in (apart from opening her back door!). I don't think she's trying to adopt him, I think her and her daughter probably just like having him around.

I guess Percy could be lonely but I've only been back to work for two days. In fact, when Simon and I go out in the evening (which isn't often) Percy always comes to the door to greet us looking sleepy then wants to go outside. We're kind of ships in the night - I get the sense he's doesn't even WANT our company! He's very independent which is why keeping him in concerns me. I would love to get another cat and I know Percy is friendly with neighbourhood cats now but sadly Simon wouldn't let it happen. One is enough in his opinion.

(((((hugs))))) I'd be really cheesed off if I were in your shoes, Laura. One thing is that a cat wanders wherever they want to, another thing is that you've let your neighbour know that you prefer it if they don't let Percy in, and they still do.

Keeping Percy in will depend on what type of cat Percy is... If he's anythign like Pok, that would have caused resentment and him going to the neighbours even more just to piss me off... *sigh* But if he's more cat-like (I know... Pok is a cat, but that doesn't take away from the fact that he will do things to upset me to things the way he wants them), then he might get a bigger sense of "home".

Wishing you the best of luck! I would have tried to have another word with your neighbours, if you could.

Pok and Percy sound like peas in a pod. I'm sure Percy is quite aware when he does things to upset me. I know cats aren't that clever but they're not stupid at the same time.

It's reassuring to hear Pok is similar to Percy as so many cats I see are as soft as kittens, always wanting fuss and cuddles. Our boys live how they want to live, don't they?!

lol! Tell me about it! lol! Poks too smart for my good... lol! And will do things on purpose to upset me. If he doesn't get things the way he wants them, he will claw like a maniac on the walls whilst looking me straight in the eye, and if that doesn't work he'll beat up BG on pure evil to make me upset.

He will also pretend to purr (it sounds slightly like purring, but he's making the sound on purpose) to "satisfy" my cuddle needs, and when he jumps out of my hands he then expects treats for "being such a good boy". Grrrrrr! lol!