What to do about Buddy? *Update*

He's at that age where neutering is needed, it really should have been done earlier, but he isn't *my* cat. He still disappears, maybe even goes back to Donna but I doubt it, and he must look on my house as his home now, so it'll probably be down to me.

She did tell me she was going to do it and have him chipped as well, so I wouldn't be going against her wishes if I went ahead, tho' I'd most likely not have him chipped and just rely on a collar with ID. I could use a collar barrel as with Bola, but with her addy and my phone number. I'd go and ask if she minded but it's awkward when, unlike Bola, I *know* who really owns Buddy.

She knows I haven't encouraged him to come in, tho' I can't say as I've discouraged him tbh, and now he's become so friendly with Bola it's probably too late for him to go back to Donnas. Unless, of course she's prepared to keep him indoors for quite a while to reinforce that's where he lives, and I'm willing to lock my flap to stop him coming in here, neither of which I can see happening.

Ian

I think you have to tread carefully here Ian, to all intents and purposes Buddy is Donna's cat, unless she has told you to keep him, well he's not yours. He may visit you and you feed him, but she really has to be the one to say, yes go ahead or not. You may find she's more than delighted for you to neuter him, but then again you may not.

Hi Kath,

Exactly my thoughts.

He doesn't eat a great deal here, not enough to supply the energy he shows anyway, so he must be getting food elsewhere. He's best mates with Bola and to a lesser extent, Dexter, which is why he spends so much time here, the attraction isn't my company or the food.

Donna was just the same with William, he'd spend weeks on end here, but she was seemingly unconcerned about his whereabouts, tho' she was, and it looks like the same scenario with Buddy, tho' William had several *homes*. She knows Buddy calls here, it's as easy for her to come and ask after him as me going to see her, but I guess we're both pig-headed enough to avoid doing it. At least she knows he'll be looked after here, and thinking about it, it's probably best to leave things as they are.

Ian

It did cross my mind that she doesn't seem overly worried about him, but then she knows he's with you, or at least nearby. I think you're right in leaving it for the time being anyway, I'm surprised he's not spraying everywhere though.

Hi Kath,

I've not seen him spray anywhere, in fact he's just about the cleanest cat I've seen, his only *vice* is scratching things when in a mad-cat mood

I'll probably just get him a collar and use one of those plastic ID barrels with Donnas addy and my phone number. If he does go home she's almost certain to check the barrel out, or even if she just spots the collar she'll probably ask about it. I can't see her being too unhappy about him having her addy/my phone number on him at all times, hopefully it will at least show I'm not trying to keep him.

Ian

Ian B wrote:I'll probably just get him a collar and use one of those plastic ID barrels with Donnas addy and my phone number. If he does go home she's almost certain to check the barrel out, or even if she just spots the collar she'll probably ask about it. I can't see her being too unhappy about him having her addy/my phone number on him at all times, hopefully it will at least show I'm not trying to keep him.

Ian

And that's exactly what I've done, tho' it took him under 20 minutes to somehow manage to undo the ID barrel and less than half an hour to lose the collar Luckily both were found in the house and have been put back on, but how he managed to open the barrel is a complete mystery as it's the snap-shut type and is hard/fiddly for me to open.

Time will tell if he goes home, I haven't seen him for the best part of three hours now, if he has Donna will surely have spotted the collar and ID barrel and checked them out.............if she can get the barrel open that is.

Ian

I didn't see him till gone midnight after posting the above, and then for only a few minutes while he had a playfight with Bola before he trotted off outside again, and he didn't reappear till just after 6am today.

As I took the remnants of Bolas (very late) supper to bed with me, should he have wanted it later, along with the usual bowl of dry, neither of which were touched after Bola had a nibble of dry at 1am, it's safe to assume Buddy didn't come in last night as my bedroom was the only room he could have got into.

He refused breakfast today, and some cat milk which he loves, so must be getting food elsewhere (home?) as it's over 12 hours since he last ate here. The collar and ID barrel are still intact, but where he goes when disappearing like that is still a mystery

'EDIT'

After him being *missing* like that, he didn't stay long in the house and is now curled up fast asleep in the box in my shed. I know he wasn't there midnight yesterday, and he wasn't there this morning as it was the first place I checked after not seeing him inside.

Ian

hahahaha got an image in my head of him sitting there unscrewing the barrel just to see what the hell is inside it.

Hoi! Cat man, stop nicking your neighbours cats! (you know I'm kidding, cats will always go where they want to go lol) Oh my, all sounds very awkward to me, I think I'd just do exactly what you've done, I can't see her disagreeing with a collar and if she does, well, that ones alot easier to rectify than 'gimmie his balls back' lol.

maddymoo wrote:Hoi! Cat man, stop nicking your neighbours cats! (you know I'm kidding, cats will always go where they want to go lol) Oh my, all sounds very awkward to me, I think I'd just do exactly what you've done, I can't see her disagreeing with a collar and if she does, well, that ones alot easier to rectify than 'gimmie his balls back' lol.

The collar worked as Donna rang earlier, seemingly Buddy does go home, but very rarely and said she wasn't happy about the collar, but I pointed out the ID barrel had her addy and my phone number on it, something I was unlikely to do if I was trying to steal him. The exact message on the ID read,

I'm Buddy and my home is (Donnas addy)
Or phone Ian (my phone number)

I told her the idea was that if he did go home she would at least know one house where he's been, but that I didn't see him during the day regularly, barring him playing in the garden with Bola, he only came in here late afternoons and often stayed. If he went elsewhere during the day, which is pretty much certain, they'd see the collar and ID and know he had a home with Donna and hopefully contact either of us.

She did mention rehoming him if he kept straying like this, but I suggested keeping him in for 10 to 14 days to reinforce that's where his real home was and she's agreed to try, tho' we both know he'll hate being confined like that. He must be getting food elsewhere as he eats very little here, about as much as Fudge, but he's many times more energetic.

Just like clockwork, after not seeing him since mid morning, he came trotting thro' the flap just before 5pm so I took him down to Donnas so she can start the *prison treatment* with him today. I told her I won't lock the flap as my lot are used to 24/7 access, but that I will put him out the next time he calls, tho' he often sneaks in and goes to sleep without my realising he's here.

She's obviously reluctant to pay to have him neutered and chipped as things stand, so here's hoping she can cure his wanderlust, but I get the feeling he'll be back in the old routine as soon as he gets his freedom again, very much like another of her cats, William.

Ian

If she doesn't neuter him then regardless of where his home is meant to be and wherever he gets fed, he'll wander, he's after a mate and toms will wander for miles to get their fill. So keeping him in and you, Ian putting him out is really pointless. If she does keep him in and he's got the urge he'll start spraying everything that moves. God why can't people just do what's easiest in the long run, neuter them.

Hi Kath,

Donna has been around cats long enough to know that, but it's her choice and I understand her point of view. I'd be reluctant to pay for a neuter and chip if I thought the cat was only going to stray afterwards, but keeping him in will hopefully do the trick, then neutering him will only make things better. The catch is, wandering might just be in his nature, and if he's confident enough to approach strangers or houses it might just be impossible to stop. Even rehoming wouldn't help if this is the case as he'd still wander no matter where he went and I can't see him being happy as a house cat.

I've seen Buddy sat on the front doorstep of a house across the road from me a couple of times, looking for all the world like he was waiting to be let in. I didn't say who because I can't prove it, tho' I'm almost certain they have cats, and anyone who loves cats will have trouble not feeding/giving shelter to a kitten they find.

I was a tad surprised to find she'd removed the collar and ID barrel yesterday, if she's reluctant to neuter him atm, then using that is surely the next best thing, all it would take s for her to change the info in the barrel to hers alone. Even a white lie saying *do not feed for 'X' medical reason* would be fair enough.

Ian

So far so good, it looks like Donna has managed to keep Buddy in as I've not seen him since I took him back on Friday. I'll bet he's going spare being confined to the house like this, but it's for the best if it reinforces that's where his real home is.

I hope she lets me know when he gets his freedom again as I'll keep the flap locked till midnight for a couple of days. He'd also been using the box in my shed lately and I'm not shutting the shed door as my two will probably use it if the flap is locked, so Buddy may well start sleeping there again. I'll make a point of not playing with him in the garden as well, he will probably soon get fed up of calling here, but as I'm 100% sure he goes elsewhere as well, it may be pointless.

Ian

Bola is missing Buddy, he keeps trying to *persuade* Jimmy and Max to have a playfight/game of chase, but they're not the same as Buddy who would usually start things off play-wise. Dexter will play, but he's been home most of the day so Bola has been a bit bored and has been doing a lot of carpet scratching

Ian

A 4.30am alarm call today from a still bored Bola, it sounded like he was trying to dig to Australia on the stair carpet At this rate I'll have to get a kitten myself just to keep the house intact

Ian